Barking is an important part of my life. It must always be loud and purposeful. Bark whenever someone you know wants to gain entry to your house, otherwise remember it is rude to bark at strangers. Find someone to bark with, this is much more fun, especially if conducted as a polyphonal chant in separate and discordant keys. Bark meaningfully, that is imagine you are looking at a large snake and cannot understand why no one else can see it. Try barking at night, this always sounds much louder and will impress everyone so much they will get up to listen to you more closely. Make sure the barking noise is set at a frequency that everyone can hear, you will notice a pleasant look will cross their faces, and they will often join in by barking back, usually in the limited form of a shirrup noise repeated in a rising crescendo. Yipping is also fun but needs someone to yip with, for example get your best friend to lie across the middle step of a flight of stairs then yip to pretend you can't go up, and when friend has been forcibly removed and you are at the top of the stairs, yip again because you can't get down. Never do anything without barking. Barking is part of the inexpressible rightness of being (thank you, Kundera).
thanks to the boss for his helpful comments and criticism.